Help! My Spouse is Addicted to Perfume

The following message arrived into my inbox last week:

“Dear Victoria, help me!

l'ar perfumes

Several months ago my wife became perfume addicted. She tried a new scent and was instantly hooked. Since that day no sensible conversation with her is possible. Whatever subject I bring up (varying from Islam to when to prune roses or whether dogs have a conscience), after two minutes she turns the discussion to fragrances.  She  bought a kind of perfume bible and studies it for hours and hours, she orders test bottles and sniffs  small puffs, commenting on them like an old winebuff tasting  Petrus 1996. She has bought some bottles ( “so you need not look for a birthday present next year darling, I have it already”) and is in fact completely out of control.

Dear Victoria, what to do? Forbid her to read your blog? Alternatively, is there a cure for this disease? Where can I find a clinic for deperfumisation and rehabilitation?

Yours truly helpless, W.”

I asked W for the permission to post his message here and to open the question to all of you. What advice would you give him? How do you manage your fragrance hobby to keep things in balance?

Photography by Bois de Jasmin

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147 Comments

  • Cornelia Blimber: Oh, dear W., hahaha, how funny. Some kind of perfume bible , you have a sharp sense of humor. But yes, i can see the problem.
    You certainly cannot forbid her anything, on the contrary, please ask her to share her impressions with us!
    My advise:
    –become a sniffer yourself.
    –Wait patiently until the fever is over. Trust me, she will always be a perfumelover, but this kind of fever will pass off. January 16, 2015 at 7:24am Reply

  • George: O god, I’m really not sure you should have posted this letter, permissioned or not. Advising on perfume is one thing; advising on a marriage is another. Besides which, the exaggerated style of the writer is dangerously likely to be taken at face value by any commentator. Accordingly, my advice to the Mr W. is thus- perfume can be interesting (and what your wife is developing is an interest and not a disease or an addiction, though I suspect you are knowingly using the terms exaggeratively), and any issue you have with the extent of her interest is not to do with perfume but rather your marriage, and therefore should be a discussion that takes place between the two of you. January 16, 2015 at 7:49am Reply

    • Victoria: He wanted advice from all of you. The exaggerated style is called humor, and I trust my readers can see that. And no, absolutely no comments on marriage or their relationship is permitted. January 16, 2015 at 8:00am Reply

      • Angela: I agree with everyone here that it passes in about 6-8 months. I did spend a lot of what I call my shoe/bag budget :).

        And my DH is fine with it as long as 1. I don’t ask him to sniff my wrist too often; 2. As long as I don’t expect him to rotate his fragrances – he and I both like Malles Vetiver Edtraordinaire, so he was of the opinion that he should wear it until we decide we like something else (not have something for office; weekend; evening; etc); 3. So long as I don’t wear too much of a challenging perfume especially late at night (it keeps him up).

        It helps that he loves wine (but we don’t drink much). So he gets the idea of buying something after reading reviews; weighing it’s merits versus cost; etc.

        And, he is thrilled with the idea that I buy my own gifts (and so am I)

        Enjoy the journey! January 16, 2015 at 1:02pm Reply

        • Angela: DH did structure a vacation (the first we took since 2007) around finding fragrance for me in Paris and London (we used to structure vacations around drinking coffee, shopping and food:). We went to almost every perfume boutique we could think of; and, by the end if the trip, he was proud that he had picked up by osmosis, the terminology including the definition of chypre (modern versus classic); and the difference between IFRA and EU regulations; and, that Serge Lutens was not the be all end all :). I ended up with a limited edition Lys Epona from Jovoy boutique in a paris. (He was desperate to buy something by that point and felt it had vintage sensibilities for a modern fragrance. We did learn that it requires some forethought and planning if we wanted to visit Guerlain heritage fragrances (the woman who knows all at guerlain was on vacation) or visit the fragrance museum in Versailles. 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 1:12pm Reply

  • Danaki: This is a tough one and I think it will wear off. I’ve always enjoyed perfumes and had around 7 to 10 perfumes at any time. Then… perfume mania hit me and my collection boomed to 30 not to mention the books and countless samples, whilst my bank balance shrunk.
    The good news is that it passes. It does. I took about 5 – 6 months.
    Ultimately it links to personal circumstances such as traumatic events and in my case, it was a form of escape. So try to see if there is anything else that is distressing her. January 16, 2015 at 7:55am Reply

  • Annette: Dear W,

    On the bright side, your wife is not secretive about her obsession. Book lovers for example are known for smuggling volumes into homes or interceping innocent postmen on the way, or even lying about the price of the latest acquisition (guilty on all charges).

    You should be happy that she wants to share her joy with you. So my advice would be: exercise your facial muscles so that when she appears with a sample or even – gasp – a full bottle, your welcoming smile and beaming eyes will have no artificiality in them whatsoever. Any trace of horror or anxiety will push your wife onto a rocky path of transgression (see above).

    Be of good cheer, dear W. 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 8:10am Reply

    • Kat: “Book lovers for example are known for smuggling volumes into homes or interceping innocent postmen on the way, or even lying about the price of the latest acquisition (guilty on all charges).” Oh dear, and I thought I was the only one! This is either comforting or disturbing – not sure.
      As for the letter writer: perfume bottles do not take up as much space as books but perfume does not last as long. Once the first couple of bottles ‘turn’ she might see the light. January 16, 2015 at 8:18am Reply

      • Annette: Kat, very true! My rough estimate would be: five 100 ml bottles to one paperback of 300 pages. With hefty hardbacks (like Ayn Rand) the ratio would be much higher, quite likely 20 to one.

        PS This is comforting. And I hail a fellow book lover:) January 16, 2015 at 9:20am Reply

    • Michaela: ‘exercise your facial muscles’… that is excellent! January 16, 2015 at 8:54am Reply

      • Annette: Thank you, Michaela. But don’t think that I don’t practise what I preach! Oh, my genuine smiles are legendary. January 16, 2015 at 9:22am Reply

    • bregje: And the same goes for clothes-lovers/shop-addicts,haha.
      My mom used to hide things from my dad only to pull them out of the closet at “the right time” a couple of weeks/months later.
      When he would then ask her:”Is that new?” She would tell him truthfully:”This?No,i,ve had it for months..”
      And of course it was always on sale and nearly cost nothing;)
      In the beginning of my relationshipcareer i even copied this behavior! Until my boyfriend(it was a good one;)) told me i could do with my money what i wanted. January 17, 2015 at 11:34pm Reply

  • Patricia R: My advise is practical:
    Look for a promotion at work with higher salary, or a new job with higher salary to cover the expenses. This should last around a year, then will calm down purchase wise, but your wife will never be the same as before…:) January 16, 2015 at 8:20am Reply

    • Flora: I respectfully don’t agree. It is her passion/hobby, so she has to be responsible for it, even financially.

      Anyways, same here: I went through that “obsessive” phase..as other readers, I can tell that is wears off, give her 6 months time. At the time I was a student, so you can imagine how it strained my finances…and yes, it was a form of escapism to everyday life stress (exam-related anxiety etc.)

      Good luck! January 16, 2015 at 9:05am Reply

      • Bela: ‘even financially’?! *Especially* financially. W’s wife should be able to support her ‘addiction’ by herself. You want something, you pay for it. January 16, 2015 at 6:05pm Reply

        • Hannah: I agree. Also with the economy, I think it’s a bit offensive to tell someone to just find a new job even if its just a joke. January 16, 2015 at 6:14pm Reply

          • Cornelia Blimber: In regard to this, I am with George: we should not interfere with the organization of their marriage. January 17, 2015 at 7:51am Reply

        • Flora: Yep, I think we are making the same point here. Sorry english is not my first language January 22, 2015 at 4:13pm Reply

          • Victoria: Yes, I agreed with you both! You expressed it well, Flora. January 23, 2015 at 2:37pm Reply

  • Heather H: My advice to hubby is to let her have her perfume obsession because it makes her happy. Be happy that perfume is a luxury that is affordable. I know my perfume obsession drives my husband crazy. I used to be obsessed with vintage roses, and that is all I read about and bought. In fact there was a new rose coming in the mail each week. He used to say, “what happened to your roses. Why can’t you be into your roses anymore.” Then he sees how my face lights up when he gives me a favorite fragrance for a birthday or Christmas and lets it go. At least I didn’t ask him for a pair of $500 Ferragamo shoes. A $100 perfume makes me just as happy. Let it go! January 16, 2015 at 8:23am Reply

    • Patricia: Heather, my perfume obsession was showing when I had to read your post three times before I realized that you were talking about actual roses and not vintage rose perfumes! January 16, 2015 at 8:43am Reply

      • Heather H: Oh no! Too funny. Rose is my favorite note:) what a surprise. January 16, 2015 at 8:51am Reply

  • Patricia: Dear Victoria,
    You can tell me…did my husband write this?
    🙂 January 16, 2015 at 8:37am Reply

    • Michaela: hahahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaha.
      Sorry. Can’t stop.
      hahahhahahhahha January 16, 2015 at 8:42am Reply

    • Tijana: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! January 16, 2015 at 9:18am Reply

    • Sun Mi: Too cute 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 9:20am Reply

    • Kaat: Big smile by reading this 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 9:38am Reply

    • Victoria: 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 12:16pm Reply

    • limegreen: 🙂 Too funny! After reading the heading, I think more than some of us had a moment thinking that it was OUR spouse who wrote it! January 16, 2015 at 2:59pm Reply

  • Michaela: In my country there is a saying, meaning that one nail drives out another. So, you could by her many, many perfumes at a time (in decants or samples), together with several perfume books, hoping she would be overwhelmed. Just an idea.
    Or merrily wait. Sooner or later your dear one is going to slow down. Speaking from experience.
    I find Annette’s advice excellent, whatever solution you choose, look nice and interested, see exercising your face muscles… January 16, 2015 at 9:07am Reply

    • Michaela: buy not by. sorry. January 16, 2015 at 9:10am Reply

      • Cornelia Blimber: Hi Michaela!
        Are you Italian?(come chiodo scaccia chiodo) January 16, 2015 at 11:19am Reply

        • Cornelia Blimber: …così amor discaccia amor. From L’ Elisir d’Amore. January 16, 2015 at 11:22am Reply

          • Annette: I couldn’t help thinking – and this is for our dear desperate Mr W. – cosi fan tutte! January 16, 2015 at 11:52am Reply

            • Cornelia Blimber: Haha, Annette! Brilliant! January 16, 2015 at 12:10pm Reply

            • Michaela: 🙂 January 19, 2015 at 4:42am Reply

        • Michaela: No. Romanian. I believe everybody has a saying like that 🙂 January 19, 2015 at 4:42am Reply

    • bregje: That worked perfectly for my cousin who,as a child, loved pastries and pie.
      She would always ask and whine to her mother and grandmother about it.
      So one day my grandmother bought tons and tons of pastries at the bakery and set them before my cousin telling her she could have them as long as she ate all of them;)
      My cousin happily started the task,but got so sick in the end, she never asked for pastries again.
      So:good advice!
      What a fun topic is this,by the way 🙂 January 17, 2015 at 11:40pm Reply

  • Sandra: Oh my!
    Maybe you can have her read the thread from yesterday about perfume resolutions.

    Or have it work in your favor (rather both your favors) by asking her to wear a few drops of her favorites to bed at night 😉 January 16, 2015 at 9:24am Reply

  • Bea: Hahaha! My best advice is: join your wife down the rabbit hole so it’s a passion you can share!

    I am desperatly trying with my husband, but he is reluctant. (But supports my hobby.) January 16, 2015 at 9:25am Reply

  • Judy: W:

    Be of good cheer, dear W! In becoming a perfumista, your lovely wife has demonstrated that she is a woman of intelligence, passion and sensuality. And she chooses to share these qualities, and her enthusiasm, with you! Many men are not so lucky.

    Try to share her happiness, or at least to appreciate her pleasure in her chosen subject. She’ll get over the obsessional stage pretty soon, but she’ll always be informed and discerning, and aren’t you proud about that?

    And are you sure you have never, ever bored anybody rigid as you enthused about cars or sports or politics or food?

    In the great scheme of things, dear W, this is a tiny problem, but I sense you know that. Be glad your wife has chosen a topic worthy of her talents. And just think of all the charming folks she’ll count among her new friends — people like the contributors and readers of this blog, who are the most supportive and good-humored people around. Compare the comments here to the unkind comments on any other blog and be happy your wife has fallen in with a like-minded bunch! January 16, 2015 at 9:34am Reply

    • Karen: Wonderful words of “advice”! January 16, 2015 at 11:51am Reply

    • MontrealGirl: Well expressed. 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 5:43pm Reply

    • Trish: Beautifully put Judy!

      As others have said, this “obsessive” phase will pass within a few months and then your wife will be left with an interesting and lovely hobby and you will never have to worry about what to get her for her her birthday ever again! January 17, 2015 at 11:54am Reply

  • Kaat: Wel blush January 16, 2015 at 9:50am Reply

  • Kaat: Wel blush January 16, 2015 at 9:54am Reply

  • Brenda: Loved that post! It is clear this gentlemen is not only a very good writer… but fun, and funny… and terribly in love with his lovely smelling wife. Every couple should have a problem that can be such fun! I completely enjoyed his sense of humour. A cold day in Canada…..though the scent of hot coffee is helping to get us all started! January 16, 2015 at 9:55am Reply

  • Bee: Dear W: encourage and support her! If I’m allowed to refer to other blogs: try to rival Olfactoria’s travels’s “The husband” and you will have thousands of virtual admirers (well, maybe that’s exaggerated) and of course your wife’s everlasting love 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 9:56am Reply

  • Hamamelis: Dear W. If you nick your wife’s new bible for a bit, and open it at pages 12 and 13 you will learn about the 6 stages of the perfumed path. I believe your companion is at stage 5, which I suspect has some phases that are not described, the first one is the unsatiable phase, which will pass (I speak from experiece, heading out of it after 6 months) but she is on her way to stage 6: Enlightenment :-). Which should be ever so pleasant, you will be married to a lovely scented wise woman (as, if you visit BdJ more often, you will see there are quite a few of here, as well as men) who will give you many olfactory surprises. What a lucky man you are! January 16, 2015 at 9:56am Reply

    • Hamamelis: PS as you will read here in advice to you, all this perfume contributes greatly to that other sense, …of humour, which I am sure you, being gifted with one, will appreciate mightly as well. A lovely scented, wise woman, with a great sense of humour. Many blessings to count! January 16, 2015 at 10:40am Reply

    • MontrealGirl: Very good (and funny) answer. I agree. 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 5:45pm Reply

  • spe: As a perfume addict from childhood, many years ago, I suggest this: when she wears a perfume you truly enjoy on her, let her know. Repeatedly and unabashedly. Purchase some for her for Valentine’s Day, birthday, Mother’s Day, whatever is appropriate. Once she knows you are attracted to one or two fragrances that she also enjoys (“mmmmm you smell good; that smells like you!”), her purchases may diminish considerably. Now, her general interest in fragrances and scent may persist through life, but why is that unappealing? It’s a lovely and fascinating hobby! Your reference to wines is apt! January 16, 2015 at 9:57am Reply

  • sajini: Your wife has a condition called ambulatory perfumitis. People in the acute phases of this condition are characterized by enlarged and inflamed scent glands that are directly connected to the pleasure centers of the brain. Symptoms include feelings of happiness, fulfillment, creativity and always the need for more, new and interesting perfumes to satiate the needs of the gland. Please exercise extreme caution, sensitivity, support and interest in the presence of someone with this affliction. There is no known cure. January 16, 2015 at 10:19am Reply

    • Annette: In a heavily guarded laboratory in Alaska (or was it the Appalachian Mountains?) research continues on vaccine which might prove highly effective. All I can say is: dear perfumistas, enjoy while you can before they start jabbing us! 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 10:47am Reply

      • sajini: **beep beep**beep beep** Special News Bulletin! The PLF (Perfume Liberation Front) will be issuing gas masks retrofitted with cannisters of vintage Jaques Fath Iris Gris to innoculate against IFRA vaccines! January 16, 2015 at 2:45pm Reply

        • Annette: Roger. Order for ten thousand on the way. Go PLF. Over. January 16, 2015 at 2:52pm Reply

          • Hamamelis: My husband is getting very worried now, I am sitting here crying with laughter, perfume is one thing, but unstoppable hysterics because of reading a blog is another (are you allright dear, what is happening over there…?). Things are getting swiftly out of hand here. But please, don’t forget to drop these gas masks over the Netherlands! SOS for Iris Gris. January 16, 2015 at 4:37pm Reply

    • Michaela: Spot on! 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 10:51am Reply

      • Cornelia Blimber: Hi Annette, you make me think….could IFRA be a secret embassy from that laboratory? January 16, 2015 at 11:29am Reply

        • Annette: Now that you mention it… Gosh, it seems their tentacles are ubiquitous! January 16, 2015 at 11:40am Reply

    • JoDee: I am in the acute phase!!! January 16, 2015 at 11:49am Reply

      • Mariann: Me too! January 16, 2015 at 1:12pm Reply

        • Cassieflower: Dear oh dear, I think I have moved into the chronic phase. . . Somebody call the scentsurgeon January 16, 2015 at 6:34pm Reply

    • Karen: Too cute Sajini! I think we have all contracted this wonderful condition! January 16, 2015 at 11:53am Reply

    • Ann: Dr. Sajini:

      A recent 4 day study (with 4711 subjects of both sexes) done at UCUSML shows that when sufferers of AP are therapeutically denied beautiful fragrances, the consequences can be dire–ranging from sudden onset of constant, rapid sniffing to acute, immutable perfumitis. Subject “W” should be warned that any effort to disrupt the relationship between his wife and her perfumes could be dangerous, even life-threatening– to his wife or himself. January 16, 2015 at 1:47pm Reply

      • sajini: Agreed, Dr. Ann. This is a very serious condition! Interfering with perfume supply can sometimes lead to illegal procurement and overdose on “designer” scents. In it’s end stages, patients have been known to sniff themselves to death! The only known remedy is regular and perfume community-supervised administration of the rarest, most exquisite perfumes available. January 16, 2015 at 3:05pm Reply

        • Hamamelis: I think laughing themselves to death seems to be another side effect. Perfumistas Anonymous is a last resort for these poor women! January 16, 2015 at 4:40pm Reply

        • Ann: Lobbyists in Washington are meeting with members of the House Subcommittee on Health to press for full Affordable Care Act coverage for therapeutic responses to ambulatory perfumitis. Treatment can be costly and results are varied. A patient testifying before Congress spoke of needing to spend thousands of dollars on Guerlain and Frederic Malle. Because of the complexity of the formulas, there are no suitable generics on the market. Her testimony was very powerful, and several Senators complimented the witness on her scent. However, to another Senator’s comment, she replied, “No, not cheaper, chypre!” January 16, 2015 at 8:56pm Reply

          • angeldiva: Ann-
            I’ve just lost bladder control from LOL !!!
            P.

            But,
            I’m covered in Chanel #5 Eau Premier so I’m cool … January 17, 2015 at 3:20am Reply

          • Annette: To which the said Senator responded somewhat grumpily: “The witness is reminded to confine her answers to the subject under investigation. We are not discussing sheep farming.” January 17, 2015 at 4:53am Reply

      • MontrealGirl: Okay, now I’m giggling uncontrollably! Good one with the ‘4711’ subjects and ‘UCUSML’! Smart, very smart! January 16, 2015 at 5:49pm Reply

        • Cornelia Blimber: 😀 January 17, 2015 at 6:18am Reply

  • Rebecca: Dear W,

    I rediscovered fragrance a few years ago. I wore perfume regularly when I was young in Paris but sort of fell out of the habit in Southern California. As the kids left home, I had time to not only wear perfume but wonder at the historical context and evolution of taste… however, things have gotten a little weird not because of my obsession, but because of my husband’s… he absolutely loves trolling for rare vintages on ebay and knows much more about the availability and price of fragrances than I do. He wears a huge variety of fragrances and I have to ask him to moderate his use of No 22 and Cristalle when we are on long trips because they are a little overwhelming to me in the car. He is grouchy when I let my little spreadsheet get out of date and scolds me for not giving new things enough skin time. Our most recent disagreement was because he bought a set of trial vials and I loathe vials… so tricky to open without spillage. In turn, I whine because I do not have any Fille d’Eve (a shade pricier than he considers reasonable). Guests get spritzed whether they want to be or not and we have little “blind smelling” parties where guests have to guess a fragrance name based on the description.

    So I guess my answer is this: be very, very grateful. Things could be worse. January 16, 2015 at 10:20am Reply

    • Rebecca: Also, he is a dreadful snob. Because I am incapable of behaving myself on ebay, he does the purchasing based on things I have mentioned. Little packets arrive at the house with delightful regularity but they are much more likely to contain samples of Chanel than vintage Mink & Pearls. In fact, I kid you not, I had to actually purchase my own bottle of Faberge Tigress (oh that wonderful faux-fur top) and I still do not own a Max Factor Sophisti-Cat. My life is unbearable, I tell you. January 16, 2015 at 10:27am Reply

      • Michaela: Your story is a delight. Thank you for the laugh. January 16, 2015 at 10:55am Reply

      • Victoria: It’s a great story! January 16, 2015 at 12:15pm Reply

      • Angela: My husband is a snob too. I don’t have to hide my caron, guerlain, malle or lutens, but I do hide away my stash of vintage avon; my vintage EL azuree and aliage (it reminds him in a bad way of what adults over sprayed when he was in middle school or high school); more modern avon perle noire and EL spellbound; and former mainstream fragrances like Gris Cabaret; or anything like inexpensive, new older stock bottles of men’s mainstream fragrances like vintage aramis; vintage azzaro acteur; vintage zino davidoff; vintage Lagerfeld for men (that DH himself wore in HS)! January 16, 2015 at 1:28pm Reply

        • Rebecca: Hi Angela,

          I am glad that someone else has a similar problem! January 16, 2015 at 8:07pm Reply

          • Angela: Totally agree; now wonder if I can persuade DH to try cristalle in the summer. . . Thanks for the chuckles! January 16, 2015 at 9:03pm Reply

    • Angela: Wow! That is fabulous! January 16, 2015 at 1:15pm Reply

    • Jackie: Your husband sounds like my kind of people! I wanna come over for one of your “blind smelling parties” ! What a riot! January 16, 2015 at 10:42pm Reply

  • Nina Z: This is a perfectly harmless hobby as long as the perfume lover isn’t over spending. So if overspending isn’t an issue, relax and let your wife enjoy herself. However, if it is, work together to give her a reasonable perfume budget that you both feel comfortable with.

    Other than that, I’m going to tell you that this seemingly frivolous hobby has led me to make some extraordinary friends. I recently managed a fund raising site to raise money for a perfume blogger who had terminal cancer and needed money to stay in her own home. We raised over $20,000 from the international perfumista community, which allowed our friend to die in her own home, as she wished. People always talk about how generous the perfume community is; now I have amazing proof that is true.

    So welcome both of you to this wonderful community! January 16, 2015 at 10:48am Reply

    • Annette: Yes, and Victoria herself came up with the idea of a giveaway in which to win a vintage bottle of Mitsouko you had to make a donation to Medecins Sans Frontieres. We also raised quite a lot of money. I think such generosity is wonderful. January 16, 2015 at 11:06am Reply

    • Bernadette: Best story ever! January 16, 2015 at 10:57pm Reply

  • Solanace: Think of Sun Tzu, this is a battle you don’t want to fight, because your chance of winning is zero. Go along with it. Compliment her when you like something, make an effort to say a word or two about it. Perfume is fun, like wine, as you noted. A sign of intelligence, as The Bible says. And you’ll end up smelling great, too! January 16, 2015 at 10:53am Reply

    • Amy: Perfume obsession is a win-win situation. January 16, 2015 at 12:02pm Reply

    • Lena D.: So true! After getting in the world of scents, I wanted my husband to smell good too. So I started him on scent that he would like: easy and fresh. I bought him Chanel’s Cologne. He would use it. The next one was Eau Savage and Egoiste, Tam Dao and Knize Ten. I am gradually exposing him to more complex smells. He gets so many complements from me on his “choice of the day,” it makes his day! He makes me guess what cologne he is wearing? This game gives us a moment of complete and undivided attention toward each other before we separate for the day! What can be better?! Embrace! You will not regret! January 16, 2015 at 12:31pm Reply

      • Elizabeth T.: I love the guessing game! What a fun, wonderful idea! January 16, 2015 at 1:23pm Reply

  • Gretchen: The comments are almost more wonderful than W’s letter….however, I shrink in fear at the thought of ‘deperfumisation.” Banish such talk immediately! A world without joyful obsessions and enthusiasm? And exploring the world of scent is a gateway to other joys, or at least a bridge to them, such as food, art, music, books, and all the loveliness that makes life worth living 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 10:55am Reply

  • Eva: Dear Mr W ,

    My advice to you…

    Cope 😉

    Sincerely- a parfumista January 16, 2015 at 11:00am Reply

  • Richpot: I’ve got the same affliction. Bad. I’ve acquired 40 bottles in the last six months and consume perfume reviews and blogs like they were crack. I pray this passes as my finances cannot support it. January 16, 2015 at 11:23am Reply

  • Amy: You could try distracting her with shoes. That works on me sometimes. (But only temporarily.) January 16, 2015 at 12:01pm Reply

    • Annette: …or with handbags. Some perfumes come with a whole package. Think: Hermes. Think: Fendi. It might work! January 16, 2015 at 12:09pm Reply

      • Hannah: Not all women like shoes or handbags, honestly. January 16, 2015 at 12:19pm Reply

        • Hamamelis: Hermes shawls will also work sometimes… January 16, 2015 at 4:41pm Reply

          • Angela: Agree on the Hermes (bags, shawls, mousellines and jerseys in particular), but thankfully H mania also passes, and perfume is less expensive 🙂 January 17, 2015 at 12:21pm Reply

    • MontrealGirl: I am laughing hysterically over this one 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 5:53pm Reply

  • Victoria: I’m really enjoying all of your comments! 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 12:10pm Reply

  • Hannah: Everyone here will probably defend her perfume hobby, but the issue doesn’t seem to be perfume.
    Just because the perfume community has done nice things and perfume is a mostly harmless hobby, that doesn’t mean living with a person with a fixation can’t be annoying. My dad is currently driving my mom up the wall about the Big Bang Theory.

    Like everyone is saying, this will probably pass as the “newness” wears down. Everyone does this, and as someone mentioned, you probably have, too. It can be overbearing to deal with, though.
    My suggestion is to encourage compartmentalization. Encourage her to be active in the perfume community. Forbidding her from reading this blog is like the worst thing you can do. She should comment here and other blogs and on forums like basenotes and fragrantica, and then she’ll be able to share her enthusiasm with others who are also interested. Having friends in the community will also help her to save money because she can participate in swapping. If she talks about perfume too much, encourage her to talk to her perfume friends about it. January 16, 2015 at 12:16pm Reply

    • Annette: Oh, Hannah, how could anyone drive anyone crazy about the Big Bang Theory?! 🙂 How could we all keep our sanity without a few “bazingas” here and there? And I speak in self-defence – I once laughed so hard during one episode that I had to stop the DVD to manually straighten my face:) January 16, 2015 at 12:29pm Reply

      • Ann: My guilty pleasure silly TV is Brooklyn 99. Same problem…!!! My kids laugh along just as hard, and then ask, “What was so funny?” January 16, 2015 at 1:52pm Reply

        • Karen: A few years ago I remember reading different celebrity’s guilty pleasures. Patrick Stewart (who at the time, and maybe still, funded a scholarship through Amnesty International and had just done a very interesting Othello) confessed that his was Beavus and Butt-head. So I think it’s really ok having goofy, inane guilty pleasures! January 16, 2015 at 3:38pm Reply

      • Hannah: My dad visited me when I was in Germany so I wasn’t clued into my family’s home life. My dad kept telling me these detailed stories about his friend Raj. I assumed Raj was a friend from work. My dad has retired a few months before, but maybe Raj kept in touch.
        Then after telling about another one of their shenanigans, he says “if you watched the Big Bang Theory, you would have known that already.” O_O
        It’s been 7 months since then and I’m pretty sure he’s seen every episode multiple times. But he often comes to tell me “It was a re-run. But it’s ok because it was just as good as the first time”, so Mr. W sorry you might be out of luck. January 16, 2015 at 3:29pm Reply

  • stickinthemud: Dear W, Consider yourself lucky she likes perfume. My wife is mad about incense. Not only does it scent our entire flat, I have to watch as it literally goes up in smoke! Yours sincerely, S. January 16, 2015 at 12:23pm Reply

    • Angela: This is not what you intended, I am sure, but Many I ask, which incense do you recommend 🙂 I was reading a review in makeupalley, and a member commented on a Hari Krishna scent (I think it was a form of incense) that smells like Vol de Nuit vintage extrait. Another member commented that there is an Indian oil (kind of attar style) that is a very nice facsimile for sandalwood. Thanks in advance! January 16, 2015 at 1:19pm Reply

  • Domestic Goblin: Dear W,

    You have two choices:

    Allow your wife to indulge in her new found hobby/obsession – pretend you are also interested – let her drag you around the perfume aisles and sniff the sample strips and remember to throw random in comments like: “smells floral” or “it’s very complex”.

    Or

    Cure your wife once and for all and take her to Grasse – I hear they are very good at rehabilitating perfume addicts… 😉 January 16, 2015 at 1:32pm Reply

    • MontrealGirl: Love the ‘once-and-for-all cure’ 🙂 but speaking from experience it had major side-effects! January 16, 2015 at 5:57pm Reply

  • Aurora: Dear Mr W: First thank you for asking advice in such a winning, light-hearted way, I enjoyed your letter shared here by Victoria very much, and shall I admit that I recognized some of the signs of that accute perfumitis.

    My advice is: use a retaliating strategy; take up cooking, purchase rare and of the moment ingredients, rave about bechamel, acquire all the requisite French vocabulary; as soon as your wife picks her scented bible plunge yourself in Haute Cuisine and Cordon Bleu books and relentlessly quote them to her; go on blogs, – including this one by the way – fill the kitchen with exotic utensils and appliances. In short become obsessed yourself in order to cure her.

    Good luck! January 16, 2015 at 1:47pm Reply

  • Johanob: She sounds completely normal to me,as a newbie perfumista exploring her new passion.Luckily,at SOME stage,we all come to our senses…and spend less/appreciate more!I went through the same thing,and although I still buy perfumes,they are more considerate buys.My advice to W:Get involved!Get her an Olfactif subscription,show some interest,and do his own research on the subject!Join her in this activity,and do things together that involves olfactory experiences,like wine-tasting,a private lunch at a posh restaurant,a walk through a botanical garden!It doesn’t have to even cost money to get involved!It could be an enriching experience for W as well!;-)) January 16, 2015 at 1:53pm Reply

  • lori: It’s hopeless; once you’re hooked, you’re hooked. 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 1:59pm Reply

  • rickyrebarco: Dear W. As others have said much better than I, your wife is in the first phase of what will probably be a life-long interest. The first phase usually lasts 6 months and may extend for a year. Generally, perfumistas calm down, realize what they really love and become more “normal” after an initial period of something like obsession with fragrance. If you try to forbid her from this enjoyment it will backfire. She will begin to lie to you as boxes mysteriously find their way into the house and bottles multiply in cabinets you didn’t even know you had.

    Listen to her (with some limits, of course). No one should be required to talk perfume 24/7, buy her some perfume of her choice for birthdays, holidays, etc. and try to be of good cheer! She could have much more expensive interests, trust me? Have you checked on the price of Christian Laboutin shoes lately? About $1500 a pair. Even a $200 bottle of perfume is a bargain compared with a full-blown shoe obsession 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 3:40pm Reply

  • Karen: Praise, compliments and my husband always making sure to buy me a special perfume when we travel has really helped cure me. Oh wait! Maybe it hasn’t! January 16, 2015 at 3:43pm Reply

  • WVCohee: I have laughed so hard! On a day I really needed a lift. Thank you all! BTW My husband could have written this, because I am in the “acute phase”. He gets a look on his face when I start waving my wrist in his face that says “You I’m not interested, but I know you know I owe you for all the times you listened to me go on and on and on about the ham radios and the sailboats, plus the time you found the antique motorcycle in the garage that I didn’t tell you I was going to buy and fix up and is still collecting dust….” Payback! January 16, 2015 at 3:59pm Reply

  • Courant: My perfume collection is currently stored on the Tardis. January 16, 2015 at 4:08pm Reply

  • Kerrie: I want to believe all of you that his wife is just in a phase but I have found it comes back. It is cyclical. She may get over it and then at some other inspiring, happy time in her life, it will revisit her as this is the nature of passion, I’m sure 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 5:04pm Reply

  • MontrealGirl: Dear W:

    Speaking as a recovering addict I can honestly say that perfume has brought me so much pleasure and joy in the beautiful things in life that I would not trade that period of insanity for the world. Everything seems brighter, better, more colourful because of it. A bit of interest and once in a while a sincere compliment goes a long way to feeling understood….and the day you find your own mania (say for a particular Italian motorcycle with a particular colour…and everything that goes with it including the leather suit) she will understand perfectly and support you 100%! January 16, 2015 at 6:06pm Reply

    • Susie R.: MontrealGirl,

      If you are recovering, how are you doing it? Better yet, WHY are you doing it???? 😉 Cheers! January 17, 2015 at 10:31am Reply

  • MontrealGirl: To BDJ readers – Thanks for the laughs, I too, like WVCohee needed a lift today and it’s been hilarious but with heart! Merci beaucoup!!! January 16, 2015 at 6:10pm Reply

  • Rickyrebarco: The Tardis! That’s what I need to store my collection of lovely perfumes. Fantastic idea, Courant!! January 16, 2015 at 9:38pm Reply

    • Courant: I have no shame January 17, 2015 at 4:45pm Reply

  • AndreaR: Such fun 🙂 January 16, 2015 at 10:40pm Reply

  • Maren: My advice is very simple to dear Mr. W. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. January 17, 2015 at 12:12am Reply

  • Alanagh Rea: Think this question and many of the answers are what is known as a “wind up” in Belfast. Deep interest in something can be simply that or it can be escapism from other issues or boredom. Aren’t a lot of us lucky that we have the money and inclination to buy perfume, the interest to enjoy it and the time to read this fantastic blog and discuss when so many people are struggling to find money to buy food and heat their homes and things are going to get worse for many people here in Ireland. Anyway sure it’s, “a bit of craic.” January 17, 2015 at 3:59am Reply

  • Joshua: Wow, what an über interesting blog! I’ll get to Señor W momentarily and his conundrum with his significant other and offer my point of view, but first, obviously everybody who has so kindly chimed in on this amazing blog didn’t accidentally type ` Mr. W`s situation with his Wife`s perfume addiction ` into whatever search engine you decided to use, no, we (I) performed a search because `we` are curious about the fact that do we actually have an addiction to perfume? This is obviously a huge, I mean huge subject, just look at the length of this blog! There are simply too many variables based on each individuals tastes, habits, mental state, financial status and so on to really pinpoint and conclude as to weather we really do have a serious addiction to this awesome stuff we call `perfume `. I can tell you that I do, but of course I always have my financial priorities first. I think about this stuff continually, research, read up for endless hours, it’s literally neverending, BUT, it did take a good 1 year to really start to discover what I truly and honestly love and dislike in perfumes, which now I’m at the point of instead of being a perfume collector per se, I’ve whittled my collection down to about 20 solid, very high quality perfumes, Arabian attars and Oud oils which means that I’ve finally found what works for me and keeps me satisfied, physically and emotionally from an olfactory standpoint. Yes, this passion has cost me some definite coin, but atleast now I’m in the general area to where I`ve stopped frivolously blowing money on unwanted perfumes trying to discover what works for me, and this is how I did it…

    Mr. W, please try and support your Wifes passion for perfume by encouraging her to purchase samples first, as opposed to hastily blind buying full bottles, I unfortunately learned this the hard way with a truck load of wasted money to boot. This will give her piece of mind in being able to sample many different smells without having to commit to expensive, full bottles and then getting that awful sinking feeling from ending up with something that you’re not happy with, also, as one rapidly progresses on their olfactory journey, your tastes dramatically change, so it’s not the simple fact of `hey, I need that next fix!`, it’s more along the lines of one honing their nose until they reach that level of comfort. Now, maybe one individual might hit olfactory Nirvana fairly quickly and discover that simple scents are where they want to be, or in my case, you require the most exotic smelling Ouds and Arabian attars on the planet to be satisfied, but most importantly, and the whole point of this long story is, whole heartedly support your Wife`s passion for perfumery, because this amazing art that we call perfumery is frankly, the coolest thing on this planet, which in my honest opinion, sharpens you to a razors edge as an individual… January 17, 2015 at 5:49am Reply

    • Susie R.: Excellent advice (especially the part about purchasing samples!) as well as your conclusion. 🙂 January 17, 2015 at 10:29am Reply

  • Poodle: Everyone, at some point in their lives, gets really excited about a new fascination they’ve developed. Sometimes it’s a hobby, a new job, a new boyfriend or girlfriend, etc. there’s always a period of time where no matter what the topic of conversation everything somehow relates to this new interest. It’s completely annoying to whoever has to deal with it on a daily basis, but this too shall pass. Encourage her to talk online with other perfume people. Kindly redirect the conversation if she goes down the perfumed path with you. She’s excited and wants you to be excited with/for her. Before I liked certain sports my hubby would get so excited when teams would trade for a player. No matter the topic, it always led back to sports. Now that I understand and enjoy sports we share the highs and lows together but for a while there it was brutal. Just be patient with her. Perhaps even sniff a bit of perfume with her. You know the old saying “if you can’t beat them, join them.” January 17, 2015 at 7:46am Reply

  • Alessandra: Hahahahahaha!!! Aw poor man, I sympathise entirely, despite being a mega perfume person. I understand because the only thing that keeps me at bay is the financial constraints, the impossibility of buying all the perfumes I want in one go.
    At the same time, I am not sure it works entirely, as the mere fact of having to wait for something makes you long for it even more. Yet, when the situation is not out of control, it is quite an enjoyable thrill, and makes you value the perfume-turned-holy-grail you end up buying even more.
    Of course, no pleasure is sane when it’s out of control, but perhaps, a few months in, the reaction to W’s wife is one of novelty, so maybe there’s nothing to worry about, yet. Time will tell whether such a passion will develop into something stable and more balanced (I really hope so, of course) or it will wane completely. My advice is just to wait and see, though of course, gently, W can probably tell, jokingly, one or two things that might at least make his wife find where the boundaries between obsession and sane passion, since you don’t need to be out of control to enjoy the ride and the endless comfort scents – and scent analysis and scent discovery – can give you 🙂
    I know I shouldn’t be laughing, but W’s message was too cute not to 🙂 I am sure it’s nothing serious…. yet! Haha January 17, 2015 at 10:08am Reply

  • Susie R.: Mr. W:

    I enjoyed your tongue-in-cheek plea for help! I agree that your wife must be responsible fiscally, judicious with her time, and balanced in her interests. However, only she can make sure that those tenets are part of her life.

    That said, I have what I feel is a viable idea for you. You mentioned a lovely wind, Petrus 1996. From that, I will infer that you are a wine lover or at least an enthusiast. Wine and perfume have a lot in common. Find some classes that you can take together (or arrange private classes) that will teach you both about wine. Even if you know a lot, you can always learn more! Nose (scent) is a huge part of the ‘taste’ of the wines we drink. Educate yourselves. That said, you must also have balance. Find a perfume expert who can teach you both in a similar way (private instruction) about the ‘nose’ of the scents we put on our bodies. There is much crossover with wine and perfume, so both of your interests will be enhanced as will your pleasure in wine drinking and experiencing the scents around you. By relating it all to scent, you will show your wife the love and respect you have for her while she experiences the pleasure of learning and broadening her focus to include something that you enjoy. I see this as a win-win. The best part of this plan is that you do it all together and grow closer because of it! Best of luck and please let us know your plan and how it works out!

    Warmly,
    Susie January 17, 2015 at 10:17am Reply

  • Ralu: I agree with prior comments that this is a phase and it will pass. It may be that she is bored or dissatisfied with something. May be you can take her on a trip someplace exotic. May be she needs a new “problem” in her life that will distract her. The thing is that an interest in perfumes will never go away which is a good thing. Alternatively, may be she will open her own perfume store or become a perfumer. 🙂 January 17, 2015 at 10:19am Reply

  • Susie R.: I have so enjoyed the comments and ‘advice’ given. You are such a wonderful, lively, and witty group of people! Thank you, Victoria, for this forum; I feel very lucky to be included!

    🙂 January 17, 2015 at 10:26am Reply

  • Julie: I agree with many of the commenters that as with any new interest there is an infatuation phase, but it will calm down.
    I think it’s scary for a spouse or partner to watch that person start directing much of their time, energy and yes, even finances, to perfume (or any hobby/interest), and on one hand you want to be supportive and excited for that person but also lovingly help to pace them as best possible. I think it goes without saying that if any new interest becomes an obsession for longer than is healthy for the relationship its probably time to seek out counseling. January 17, 2015 at 11:50am Reply

  • Cynthia W: I agree that it will mostly pass – she may even get to where I did and realize that she has more perfume than she can ever wear and stop buying more. Or she may go the way of one of my friends and have to buy new furniture to house it.. one never knows.

    Really – if she gets into a split group or purchases mostly samples, interspersed with full bottles, it’s much cheaper and takes less storage than a shoe or purse addiction.

    I would encourage her to find some perfumista friends who she can share her discoveries and compare notes with so she doesn’t drone on too much with you. Or you could do what the hubs did and counter with truck talk – that lead to a detente where we both agreed to cut back on discussing our obsessions with each other…

    Good luck – this, too, shall pass. January 17, 2015 at 3:32pm Reply

    • AnnieA: CW – good advice! KP of Katie Puckrik Smells started her blog when her husband gently suggested that she could find some other people to talk about perfume with… January 20, 2015 at 1:11pm Reply

  • Sylvia: 🙂 what a lovely community you all are! To Mr. W, it is cheaper than therapy, far more enjoyable, and you have something left for the money spent :)! January 17, 2015 at 6:06pm Reply

  • bregje: Dear mr.W,

    I have the same problem.
    My man gets really excited about sports! We’ve gone through a darts-fase,a snooker-fase,a tennis-fase,a fitness-fase complete with protein-shakes and endless amounts of tuna salad.
    Football seems to last year in year out,but since a few years he’s also into cycling(especially when tour the France is on tv)
    And every time he buys all the equipment,which is spread all over our house.(bikeshorts are so not sexy!)

    In the dart-fase he actually covered one of our windows with mdf so he could hang the board at the right angle and distance.(i’ve taken it down now, after he stopped playing for a while).
    He is now preparing to buy another race-bike.(and those are very expensive).He already has a standard so he can cycle in our shed when the weather is bad and of course we almost always go on vacation to area’s where he can bring his bike like mont ventoux and alpe d’huez.
    Obviously,” I “don’t know how to stop your wife’s obsession;)
    I just resided on supporting my man.We’ve agreed on certain spaces he can use and i got the attic for things i enjoy like painting,dancing and meditating or singing out loud.
    And honestly:i kind of enjoy his enthusiasm!(and laugh about it with my friends;))

    good luck! January 18, 2015 at 12:13am Reply

  • kaat: Dear W,

    we all have something to say, or we went to the same,
    I always have been addicted to the fragrance/perfume, when i was at young age, i did went in the roller coaster when i was im my early 20, it cools down, when i was to busy with other things in my life.

    i still love perfumes like we all do here, and i notice last year it came back extremely for me, so i used my therapy shopping,
    and it ruled down again, ill see it from the bright side, its fun its lovely, and a pleasure to wear, to discover, learning and so one,

    mister W, i would recommend you to start sniff with your spouce, speak with her about it… nothing more enjoyable than share, and in case you have a addiction in small trains, you can share both the hobby together, drag her into it,, put in every wagon a tester, special for her, chosen by you.. January 18, 2015 at 11:51am Reply

  • Katy: I just bought my first pair of cowboy boots and was so excited I completely ignored the perfume for sale in the Western Wear store where I was shopping. But you see I have not forgotten the ignored perfume. I shall return….. January 18, 2015 at 2:38pm Reply

  • Ariadne: Has the couple read Coming to My Senses by Alyssa Harad? If not I heartily recommend reading it together. January 19, 2015 at 9:14am Reply

  • suad: so funny deperfumistation rehabilitation,
    there is no known cure so far,symptoms may vary from acute sniffing phase to protracted search of that unfulfilled sniffing spot in the perfume lobe of the brain….to small and short interval of remission but unfortunately relapses are common.
    if you cant beat them…join them is my advise January 19, 2015 at 12:25pm Reply

  • JulienFromDijon: Dear W.,
    Olfaction is not only rooted with unconscious memory, it’s very close to synesthesia : all five senses mixed up, feelings and thinking too. Perfumes kind of holds the key to it all.

    After a couple years of expensive purchases in niche perfumes, she’ll end up more able to enjoy life, to pick up ingredients and cook, taste wine, see colors, enjoy strolling in the streets, flowers… simple pleasures. She’ll have that extra 6th sense. She’ll be far more resilient to depression and Alzheimer, and to what makes people turn dull with time.
    Your wife is becoming even more the kind of thing of beauty that is a joy forever. Let her passion be contagious, like life is. January 20, 2015 at 8:45pm Reply

    • Rose: I agree with most comments here – the first phase of perfume love eventually evens out!

      But I also agree with Julien (above) that it’s life and sense enhancing – it really gets your brain firing in so many imaginative ways. It’s a very associative activity. Also recognising notes is excellent training for the mind.

      But that first sense of being an astronaut in unexplored territory is what creates the initial obsession and excitement. I kind of miss that!

      Someone mentioned that Katie Puckrick’s husband suggested she write a blog and I think that’s a good idea. Even if there are already loads out there it’s an enjoyable activity January 21, 2015 at 4:17am Reply

  • Fogdew: Dear W,
    I recommend you become addicted to wine, and then you’ll be just as annoying as your wife and the rest of us all!
    Good luck on that,
    Fogdew
    Ps: of course dogs have a conscience, all beings have a conscience! Look at humans for instance, even we have one! January 20, 2015 at 9:29pm Reply

  • Gentiana: I can’t give a wise advice, is I am myself in the phase of chronical “parfumitis” – with ups and downs – as all chronicized illnesses. Reading and speaking about perfumes is the smallest problem… Buying dozens of perfumes is a big one…. for the family’s budget,
    The passion for fragrances increases the awareness of senses, the joy of life, the general sensitivity for many things, the fantasy and the creativity. Reading perfume books and blogs brings a lot of information, as people who write them are creative and cultivated people, posts and articles contain lots of fascinating info from history (European, Asian etc), biology, chemistry, lives and traditions of faraway nations etc. Blog readers make interesting comments, they are people with creative minds and awake senses.
    Her love for perfume can be a hidden facet of her feminine being, It may be a search for love and tenderness. The wish for being attractive, the quest for a colorful and fresh love life. And she will always smell amazing.
    This is all for your advantage!
    I hope you will be infected, too… It is the best way to survive with someone being that ill,,, 🙂 January 21, 2015 at 12:00pm Reply

  • Marie: Buy minis on Ebay. Thus the Ebay search will be good for her too wastes ALOT of time…So the hunt becomes the fun. You can say ok 100 MAx and go on a hunt on Ebay for all two days….I have about 400 perfumes now after six months and spent about 600 all together total and now I feel satisfied. October 6, 2015 at 9:33pm Reply

  • Jacquie: I have spent over AUD$1300 and purchased 38 perfumes in the last 9 months. I am slowing down and giving myself a $30 budget a month now.
    I love perfumes but its the emptiness and lack of love and hard, stressful, underpaid work that I seek some comfort in scents.
    Addiction maybe but if makes life a little bearable, if perfumes at least gives me a reason to to work everyday, then the payoff is well worth it….
    I didnt own any perfumes for over 15 years beforehand…. April 25, 2017 at 2:48am Reply

  • Jennifer Wasko: I find myself in the realm of potential addiction to perfume. I started this hobby when I quit smoking cigarettes a couple of years ago. I wanted to use the cigarette money on something that I was never able to use during my entire adult life as a smoker. What would have been the point? This actually is what helped me to get through the tough part of the no smoking. I don’t work right now because my pre-teen boy was in an accident where he broke his femur in half. He required much full time care and my husband is an on the road trucker (gone for months at a time). So, finances are strained for sure. I still went ahead and indulged enough to justify the cigarette money savings, but now it has turned a rather ugly corner. Now that I found something called “afterpay.com,” I end up severely overspending and am able to pay it off over a span of 4 pay periods. I really am noticing somewhat of an obsession building. It is bad, I believe, when you feel immense guilt. Then the habit is no longer fun, but feels necessary. I am looking into this newfound addiction now to try to curb my enthusiasm and live within my means. I am not getting any younger and my previous obsessive spending was on makeup and skin care products (about to be 50). Now that I realize most of the makeup is too “young” for me to use any longer, this is the one thing that I can enjoy for the rest of my life. I will also have something great to leave to my stepdaughters one day as there is no possible way that I can use all of this during the rest of my life. Even if I live another 30 years. I believe that the first step is acknowledging to someone other than myself that I may have issues for not stopping before the guilt. For now I have started just ordering decants to spend less. That way it likely will not go bad and I can get some really beautiful fragrances without having to spend nearly as much as if I were to buy bottles. That’s a start. It is a work in progress. I am certain it is some addiction based on the fact that I no longer an drawing a paycheck. I have always worked my entire life and sometimes more than one full-time job, so this severely limited money is haunting me to the core. The few perfume purchases every couple of weeks really do make me happy and I LOVE every one of my bottles dearly… There is now about 300 of them. I need to learn to enjoy what I already own instead of constantly seeking the next great scent. It definitely IS a rabbit hole and the more experienced that I become, the more expensive the perfumes become. I almost wish that I started with niche scents and left the mainstream alone (of course aside from Stella Rose Absolute and new Chloe). Aside from those two, the other 100 bottles of mainstream really go unused for the most part. I have found that it is MUCH better to have a 10 or 20 ml decant of something unique, long lasting, and stunning rather than a full bottle of Gucci Bloom or some other mainstream that all smell alike to my nose. I have become so bored with them that I am even considering downsizing by giving the mainstream to my kids. Space is of the essence. Thanks for listening. Jenny June 2, 2019 at 3:51pm Reply

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