Day 22 in Ukraine.
Sunlight’s soft ballet
through lace of old curtains—
glimpses of empty streets.
—
Dusk descends quietly
Sirens wail through the stillness,
Stars fade from the sky.
—
Awoken at night
Flashes tear through the darkness,
Dawn feels far away.
Another day arrives. Why is time flying so fast? A week ago, I had a dream about waking up in the middle of an explosion (it was only a drone shot down in the fields nearby). In my dream, my house was in ruins, my dress was torn and I didn’t know where to go. I ran inside a large building and up a staircase. At the top of it stood a man holding my passport. “I found you,” he said. “Let’s go to Japan and open a porcelain studio.” (I had no idea that this was my subliminal desire, but fine, I’ll take it.)
“We’re leaving right now,” he said, pulling me close. Though tempted by the promise of Japan, I pushed him away. “I just arrived in Ukraine. It’s too soon. I can’t leave.” He grinned, tore my passport and vanished in a whisper of incense smoke. The house around me plunged into darkness, the glass windows burst into shards and I ran downstairs into an empty street. I had no idea where to go. But then I remembered my phone (I’m such a millennial). I checked Google Maps and saw that my GPS location was inside my house in Poltava. I woke up. The anti-air defense guns were still shooting down drones in the fields over the cemetery. I saw that I was at home. I fell sleep again.
Now I don’t see many dreams. I just write poetry and look for forgotten treasures in my grandmother’s cupboard.
Photography by Bois de Jasmin
13 Comments
Aurora: I admire you very much for remaining so creative in such difficult circumstances. How odd our dreams are like truth seen through smoke. September 16, 2024 at 11:54am
Melanie: This is very moving. I cannot imagine what you experience day to day. Big hugs to you. September 16, 2024 at 11:55am
John: It may just be my own affinity for prose poems, but the whole second half (I mean everything under the picture) feels as much a poem as the three stanzas above it, and moving to the end.
One game I used to play with my daughter (a bit of everyday surrealism) was to take the memorable events of a day as ask oneself what they would have symbolized were they a dream (even having fun googling ‘dream meaning of __” for whatever objects or activities were involved.) I suppose the idea was to consider how dreamlike life can be…
But tell us more about porcelain and incense! September 16, 2024 at 2:24pm
Hilary: I agree – – all so poetic and moving.
Also i am going to play that game with my daughter September 16, 2024 at 7:00pm
Karen A: Sending love. Forgotten treasures has a beautiful ring to it. September 16, 2024 at 5:06pm
lucy: take best care and listen to your instincts, we want you back in good condition! September 16, 2024 at 8:17pm
Marianne: Hello Victoria. By the seemingly miraculous powers of technology we’re able to communicate, although the essential ingredients are primarily you, and then us.
Your dream speaks to me of your courage and integrity, your great love for your family and indeed the whole Ukrainian community and its beautiful land. As always I become a little more sensitive and still when reading the messages you send. September 16, 2024 at 8:32pm
WARA: Dearest Victoria, may the ANCESTORS AND ANGELS keep you safe…sending you LOVE AND LIGHT💜⭐️💜⭐️💜⭐️VIVA UKRANIA 💙💛 September 16, 2024 at 11:08pm
Shoshao: Dear Victoria, thank you for your poetic and yet precise update. As Wara in the comment above puts it so beautifully – may you and everybody be sound and save, and may we find ways to peace as mankind. September 17, 2024 at 10:51am
Anastasia: Beautiful poem, beautiful and sad dear Victoria. After having read your great book (which I enjoyed immensely), I can understand your devotion and love for beautiful Ukraine. You are very talented and you offer us plenty in the world of senses and art. Human nature is full of weaknesses and competition. Ugliness will never end… By following your cultural endeavors, by ”going to any Japan that attracts you’, you make the world richer and more beautiful and you become the best ambassador for your beautiful country. September 22, 2024 at 5:28am
Verena: Just reaching out and sending love to you. You are in our prayers daily. Stay safe and well beautiful soul. Thinking of you and your countryman. God Bless xxx September 25, 2024 at 10:16pm
Verena: Dear Victoria, Just touching base to let you know you are in our thoughts and prayers. God bless xxx October 2, 2024 at 8:39pm
Hana: Dreams are sometimes so good at telling us things that we are not aware of or find hard to acknowledge. I love your poem, the story, and the nostalgic photo. Take care! October 3, 2024 at 3:18am